Sunday, February 3, 2013

I HATE TO TELL YOU . . .



Well, you're just not going to believe it.  Remember my weight was 145 at my last post?  Are you ready for this?  It is, this morning . . . . . drum roll . . . . . 146.5.

Yep.  That's right.  I gained a pound and a half.  Sigh.  I just don't know what to say.  That's why I have been dreading writing this post.  I kept hoping it would go back down, but nope!!!!!
I really have no explanation.  One thought that crossed my mind was that I was trying to eat all these different things that were proven to lower cholesterol.  Certain nuts, olive oil, on and on.  Perhaps I was adding extra calories in and not cutting back somewhere else?  That might explain it! 

I had the great idea to bake some oatmeal cookies, loaded with walnuts and dried cranberries. Of course I had to put at least a little bit of chocolate chips in them.  Instead of vegetable oil I substituted olive oil, which is also supposed to be good for high cholesterol.  It makes sense, right?  A good high fiber cookie.  I mean really, there ARE three cups of oats in the recipe.  They were mmmm, mmmm, good, and I was thinking that this was the best "diet" in the world.  They were healthy, and they filled me up. Well, a few cookies with a cup of coffee or Diet Coke did.  I thought it was helping to keep my appetite under control so I wasn't hungry, thus not being tempted to eat unhealthy foods. And yes, as I wrote that last sentence I do see the irony in eating cookies to prevent unhealthy food choices. Duh.  Apparently I'm not as smart as I thought I was!!! 

My husband has informed me that I was the ONLY one in the house eating the cookies, and that I have managed to eat pretty much every last one myself.  He and my son had a few, but the rest I put in the freezer because. . . well duh. . . everyone knows there is nothing better than homemade oatmeal chocolate chip cookies right out of the freezer, except maybe Girl Scout Thin Mints!  Ohmygosh don't even get me started.  I didn't even order any Girl Scout cookies, and when my daughter gave us a box  I instructed my husband to hide it in the pole barn out of my sight.   

Apparently eating almost 4 dozen cookies myself over the last week or so might have not been a great idea.  I swear, I had no idea I was the only one eating them.  This is why I NEVER buy junk food or Oreos or anything I  love, because I just keep going back for more.

The only other thing I can think of that might have made me gain weight is stress. They say stress can do it to you. My mom had yet another fall a little over a week ago, and again is in the nursing home for rehab.  Thank God she didn't break anything this time. She was so sore and stiff there was no way we could have managed her at home, and the doctor recommended a little physical therapy. That whole ordeal, from the phone call telling me of the fall to the day spent in the ER to the admission to the nursing home was really stressful.  Seeing her in such pain was awful.  

To top it off, my little sister, my only sister, who has been here to help with mom after her last fall, was going to be returning home.  Just knowing she was leaving was so sad, and thinking about it would bring me to tears every time I thought of it.  We are so close.  She is so much fun.  We laugh at the same things, finish each other's sentences, frequently say the exact same words or sentences at the exact same time, and even think of the other person about one second before they call on the phone.  
We have always talked on the phone every day, but this was even better! She was here for the family birthday parties, special occasions, and barbecues.  It was so nice.  I am so sad that she is gone.  I am so happy for her to get her life back though.  Sniff.  Sniff.

I told you I would let you all know how I was doing with my weight and healthy lifestyle, so there it is. The ugly, awful truth.  But let's look on the bright side.  I have begun taking fish oil, red yeast rice, and becoming very aware of certain foods that have health benefits. 
I've discovered Greek yogurt has an amazing amount of protein and also probiotics for stomach health. It tastes sour, but I add the cinnamon that I am supposed to take daily, squirt in a little honey we purchase from our friendly neighborhood beekeeper, and just tell myself I am improving my health with every bite. Just in case you didn't know, protein builds muscle, and the more muscle you have the more efficiently you burn fat. Also, protein makes you feel fuller longer.  So it's a win-win situation! Who knows, I may even learn to like it! I could always add fruit, but I really want to get in those two teaspoons of cinnamon.  I guess I don't even have to tell you I would prefer cinnamon toast with sugar and butter!


I am exercising more. I have gotten on that old treadmill much more often, and even pulled out my Yoga Booty Ballet and Zumba CDs.   I am starting to do a little bit of working out with my five pound weights.  When I go to the nursing home to sit with mom, which is about five hours a day total since she doesn't like being there and is lonely, I always grab a big ol' orange from the snack tray instead of junk food which is right alongside the fruit.  Well, ok, I do take an occasional mini Oreo snack pack, but for the most part just the orange.  Instead of eating a regular baked potato with sour cream and butter, I bake a sweet potato and sprinkle cinnamon and a tiny bit of brown sugar on it.  It's so much better for you and tastes like pumpkin pie.

This wasn't really about losing weight anyhow, but lowering my cholesterol.  Who knows, maybe I actually have improved my cholesterol levels.  I just wouldn't know because I haven't been tested yet.  

I'm not giving up.   

I will renew my efforts.
I will NOT make another batch of cookies.  
I will step up the exercise.
I'll try to eat that awful yogurt in-between meals so I won't be as hungry.
I'll try not to be so stressed and overwhelmed about Mom coming home next week.  
I will try to ask for help from others to get me through.  
I will not sneak into the pole barn and try to find those Thin Mints. 
I want to thank all of you for your very kind and supportive comments.  There are many comments I have not published because some of you have shared some very personal things with me. These comments have been very helpful.  Clearly, I am not alone in this overweight, overwhelmed, menopausal, high stress, high cholesterol life.   I consider myself very fortunate to have met so many wonderful blogging friends. Your good wishes and compassion never cease to amaze me. Thank you for all your uplifting comments and suggestions.  Have a wonderful week. I'll let you know how I am doing soon. 




20 comments:

  1. Julie, besides the cookies you seem to be on the right track! I have been doing weight watchers since October and have successfully lost 30 pounds. Yeah, me! I could never seem to lose a pound doing any thing else. I go on the treadmill for 30-40 minutes a day. If you like your cookies, try whipping up a batch with 2-3 points a cookie. Pinterest has some awesome recipes. I am going to Phoenix in April, so the plan is to lose another 20! Keep up the good work, Marilyn.

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  2. Julie,
    It sounds like you had every right to eat ALL of those cookies....STRESS! But try to stay away from the diet Coke's...they can actually make you crave carbs!!!! See if you take them out of your plan how you do....Hang in there...:) Sandy

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  3. I was also thinking that giving up the diet coke might help you and replace it with....WATER!!! Since I had that kidney stone last summer, I gave up my beloved diet coke as it's very bad and the Dr said so! My daughter stopped by with 2 boxes of girl scout cookies...I AM BAD!
    Tomorrow is another day and a new day for new and better choices!
    Warmly,
    deb

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  4. Just wanted you to know most people who go on a diet and excercise gain weight at first because muscle weighs more than fat :) so that should make you feel a little better :)
    ((HUGS))
    hang in there girl

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  5. It's a never ending battle for us ladies, isn't? Have you tried flax seed for lowering cholesterol? You can grind the seeds in a coffee grinder and then add the flax seed to your oatmeal--probably not the cookie variety, but who know that might work too!

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  6. Julie, sometimes life comes at you fast and you have bigger things to think about than what you're eating. It sounds like you have your hands full taking care of your mom and your family, and dealing with missing your sister. I've been there, caring for my parents when they were ill, and two years ago they passed away only 8 weeks apart. I couldn't have handled it without my sweet sister, who lives 6 hours away from me. I miss her every day. So I know what you're going through!
    Do you best at eating healthy, and try to exercise a bit each day, and stop worrying about how many pounds you weigh. Unless you are only 3 feet tall, 145 pounds isn't overweight! You are talented, beautiful, and a blessing to all who read your blog. Stop stressing and start living! Life is too short, sweetie! Enjoy the oatmeal cookies along the way, and eat salads for lunch to make up for the treats! Eat to be healthy, not to lose weight, that's what I've learned.

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  7. For me, it's those pesky carbs. I do better on a low-carb plan. It's staying on it that I'm not so good at! I admire your weightloss so far - and you will do it - your body will follow your lead! Oh - I listen to "Livin' La Vida Low Carb" for inspiration! Love your valentines! The first one is so fun!

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  8. I'd put it down to muscle growth! lol
    I also think that you should hide the actual Pole barn so then you will definately not find the cookies.......
    Good luck and may your cholesterol be perfect when it gets checked x

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  9. Don't lose heart! Health isn't always about pounds! also- water weight in a new enemy of mine. Pre menopause, it wasn't a problem but now it is. Go figure! ♥

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  10. Julie, You absolutely make me smile. It was that .5 that put you over the top. I wish with all my might I could eat as my very tiny daughter does, all organic, slight grazing all day long. But who can eat only one cookie! I'm giggling because it seems we always make things for our family to enjoy, but we seem to do all the eating! Hang in there! E

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  11. Girl friend I am not sure where you think you are over weight. I so wish I had your will power. Instead I take the meds. Today I got salad stuff at the grocery store but that never last long. Be strong. I am here to cheer you on.
    Hugs
    donna

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  12. Dear Lucy, I am laughing with tears just streaming down my face, I have this vision of you sneaking from tree to tree in the dark, dressed in black with a knit cap over your hair,as you sneak to the barn, and Ricky finding you as you are scouring the barn for a thin mint...teehee. Don't sweat it, you are on the right track, baby steps Luce, baby steps. I know you are feeling overwhelmed and missing your sister. I hope you mom is better and your full house is not getting to ya too much.
    I love being your friend!
    X's & O's
    Ethel

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  13. Hi, glad to meet you! I have been having a horrible time this winter with weight gain. Every year around this time, I start feeling blue and I have been conditioned from childhood to eat away by blues. I know that I'm blaming poor judgement on bad habits, and that I really should be stronger. I have heard that vitamin D helps with the winter blues. I'm thinking about going to the health food store and getting a bottle, but first I'm going to reserve it out a bit more.
    I think that we have a lot in common . . . love your blog . . . I'm your newest follower. I would be honored to have you come on over to my blog, too.
    Have a great day . . . your newest follower # 417, Connie :)

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  14. Hi Julie, I am so excited to hear from you and to see that you are following me, too.
    I'm putting you in my prayers. Getting this weight off and feeling better, is what we both have to look forward to. "Less weight, More energy" . . . that is my new motto.
    I am going to keep repeating it to myself throughout the day:)
    Have a great day . . . I'm on my way to the health food store . . . I will let you know when the vitamin D kicks in :)
    Your new blogging sister, Connie :)

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  15. I haven't visited in a long while...got a lot going on too..mom went to the hospital and found out she has a lung problem.. I'm glad your mom is doing ok..and I wished I weighed 146... I gained a big 50 lbs in the last two years...eating cookies etc...being stressed out..lol so be careful with those darn cookies...Glad you are doing okay though and it was wonderful to catch up..Happy weekend with love Janice

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  16. I hope everything is going well...have a wonderful Valentines Day!

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  17. Oh...My goodness! You have some of the cutest, funniest Valentines. Thanks for sharing and putting a big ole smile on my face!
    Happy Valentine's Day!
    Carolynn xoxo

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  18. Hi Julie--I really enjoyed your post, and yes, you're right, you're not alone. I remember the day I realized that the chocolate chip cookies I put in the freezer so I wouldn't eat them were even better!! Try stirring some jam, apricot is good, into your yogurt and topping it with crushed cereal, it's pretty good! Have a great weekend! Lorraine

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  19. Well I thought I had posted this comment already because as soon as you mentioned cholesterol one word popped into my head: lecithin! You can get it at the health food or vitamin store and it breaks down fat/cholesterol in your body and in what you eat. You will notice it on the labels in lots of ready to eat foods like soups and gravies and anything else that the makers don't want fat to congeal in because that's what it does; keeps fat from congealing. In you, too! :)

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